The Split Lives Problem

Alive Youth Church Weekly

What's up, AYC!

I am so happy to be back at it in the New Year. It was a long break, and I know you may not be excited to be back at school, but just think, now that school's back, so is ALIVE YOUTH CHURCH!!! I can't wait to go through this year with you all. It's going to be a good one. 

I'll continue to see you on Sundays at 6:30pm. Bring a friend, bring your siblings, invite strangers (be safe, don't be weird). You never know how or when God will work through you for others to meet Him. Sometimes it just takes one invite for the Lord to move. Be bold. Stay on mission for Him. 

For this week's blog, I've got a little heavier topic. But it's one that I feel is relevant to students right now. So if you've got a few minutes, I encourage you to read it and take some time to think. Know that I never want to call you out; I only want to point you towards Jesus. I want students to have a long and fruitful relationship with Jesus. One that lasts long after their time in youth ministry. But oftentimes we have things between us and Jesus. I wanna talk about one of those things today. 

I am naming this blog:

"The Split Lives Problem" 

Sometimes I do things because I feel like I’m supposed to, not because I actually want to.

I show up. I’m consistent. I do the right things.

But inside, I’m just going through the motions.

I don’t want AYC to become that. For myself or for you all. 

I will always take real over perfect. 

For a long time, when I was a student, that was my faith. I came to youth because I had to. I listened. I left. And then I lived a completely different life the rest of the week.

I wasn’t rejecting God. I just wasn’t letting Him change anything.

I was coasting.

So I want you to really think about this, not answer it quickly.

Why do you come to youth?
What are you actually getting out of it?
What do you want God to do in your life through it?

Because faith isn’t meant to be something we attend. It’s meant to be something that shapes us.

Jesus says in Matthew 15:8,

    "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

You can show up every week and still be far from God in your heart. 

I love that this is a place you can come to, and I wouldn’t change that. Come to AYC looking for Jesus. Come needing Him. But when you find Him, don’t say goodbye when you leave. Don’t let your faith stay in this room. Take Him with you, let Him change the way you live, and let Him into every part of who you are.

So what do I mean by the split lives problem?

A lot of students don’t walk away from God.
They just split their life in half. Often again and again. Seperating themselves. 

One version of you at church.
Another at school.
One version at home.

Another with friends.
One version out in public.

Another when no one is watching.
One version you want to be seen as.

Another when you're alone.

You know how to act in each place. You know what to say and what not to say. You know which parts of yourself to hide depending on where you are or who you're with. Depending on who's watching you and how it could impact the careful reputation you've built. 

And over time, you stop knowing which version is actually you. That’s exhausting. 

I remember when I was in elementary and middle school, I was growing at a rapid pace and found that I could sleep for what felt like days and still wake up tired. And it wasn't until the growing pains that lasted my whole childhood stopped that I realized that pain wasn't going to last forever, and that I didn't need 12 hours of sleep and a nap to get through the day. Despite the weird analogy, the point is: Changing yourself all the time hurts, and it'll wear you out. 

Luke 16:13 says, 

    "No one can serve two masters." 

 James 1:8 says, 

    "A double-minded person is unstable in all their ways."

Living divided will always pull you apart.

When you live two lives, you carry constant pressure.

Pressure to keep secrets.

Pressure to not get caught.
Pressure to look like you have it together when you don’t.

God already sees every version of you.
The one at church.
The one at school.
The one you hide.

And He’s not waiting for you to fix yourself before He loves you.
He’s waiting for you to stop hiding.

Life is already difficult. Don’t make it harder by trying to live multiple ones. You can only do one well. And none of them can be lived even close to well without God.

It can be hard to tell sometimes if you're split. Ask yourself these questions. And if your answer is yes... then think about why. 

Do you find yourself hiding information?

Do you talk differently, use different words?

Do you slip up sometimes and get nervous? 

Do you feel lonely?

Do you feel like nobody knows the true you?

Do you know the true you?

Are you scared to go to God? 

Do you keep certain relationships carefully separated?

Do you pull away when conversations get too personal?

Do you fear being fully honest with anyone?

Are you exhausted from keeping things straight?

Do you feel like you’re constantly managing an image?

Do you feel the need to clean yourself up before going to God?

Do you keep parts of your life off-limits to Him?

Do you feel distant from God but unsure why?

Do you hear or feel conviction but push it aside?

Do you justify things you once knew were wrong?

Do you tell yourself “it’s not that bad” often?

Do you compartmentalize your life to avoid discomfort?

Do you assume things will get better later, when you're older?

Do you fear being exposed more than being healed?

I know, there's a lot there. In all honesty, I just kept thinking of more as I wrote and figured, why not just keep them all? One may apply six, seven, or maybe all of them. It's not some calculated test, only one to make you think and reflect. 

Are you attempting to live multiple lives? 

Is it really benefiting you? 
What would change if you lived fully known?
What are you protecting, and is it worth it?

What would freedom look like?

How many questions can I put in one blog post? This has got to be a record or something. 

My main point here is: The hardest way to live is split.

The split is when you believe in God but don’t trust Him fully.
When you feel conviction but don’t respond to it.
When you want grace but don’t want to surrender.

The split is where guilt lives. Sin doesn’t just make you feel bad. It traps you. And hiding in the split keeps the chains tight. forces you to dig yourself deeper. Lie more, hide more, and continue down the path further from God. 
Freedom from this is real, and His name is Jesus.

Freedom isn’t pretending you don’t struggle. It isn’t being perfect. It comes when you're honest. The last thing I want is for you to pretend that you've got this whole thing figured out. Cause that's just faking it again, and we are right back to square one. Just be honest, be real. Walking in the light doesn’t mean you have it all together. It just means you stop hiding in the dark. 

Give your life to Him. You don’t lose freedom by giving your whole life to God and saying goodbye to your other versions.  

You gain freedom through Him.

So I want to leave you with this.

Q: Are you living one life or many? 

A: Live one, live it for Him. Watch yourself heal from the wounds of a split life.
Q: Are you growing or just showing up? 

A: Show up real, see real growth.

One life.
No hiding.
Real freedom from Him.

Thanks for being you. 

AYC loves you!

We truly have the best students. They seek Jesus and strive to be more like Him. I am so excited for what Jesus has in store for them all and incredibly thankful for the small part I get to have in these students' lives. Keep it up, AYC. Don't hesitate to reach out anytime. We are always here for you. 

 

See you all Sunday, 6:30pm for Alive Youth Church!! 

-Isaac Fehlen

Youth Pastor